I was just going through my journals and I found a protected post from my wordpress which I wrote some time back.

“I cannot believe that I allow the words that people say… waver my confidence and esteem in myself, in my ministry, in my life and… in God.

I heard so much that it confuses me and baffles me and overwhelms me. I am not stumbled but I am just. Overwhelmed. It makes me doubt and the most minute things shakes me. Insecure…

我不玩了。想放弃。明明就要放弃了，却不能放弃，却觉得不开心。不知道该做设么。。。 我是一个很简单的人。。。 为什么, 要爱神和爱人是这么的难。。 我不了解。累了。我希望。。。会有人来关心我得感受。 我不是caoren也不可能永远都能够坚强。。。 不开心。真的不开心 ):

请你帮帮我 ):”

As human as can be, I am finding my space and place in this stratosphere.

Till I figure it out… I keep my heart and my lips to thyself. I take my tiny steps one at a time. “

Wow. Fast-forward two months and 7 days. Here I am. Happy, thankful and learning live above my situations. I think I found my balance and joy… along the way. “What can be shaken will be shaken” Lose some, gain some. The anointing of God comes through sacrifice and prayer and consecration. Thank You Jesus.

What a season of my life!

I am just so thankful… that God has turned things around for good. That things can so drastically change and yet miraculously be restored.

Thank you to dear friends… who stood by me and stuck with me through one of the lowest periods in my ministry and life this year. I am so grateful.

Leila, Rhoda… my spiritual support and my advisors. People who never judged me, love me and gave me the counsel I needed even at 3am in the night.

Eileen… for everything… haha. For just being there. Everytime. I think  You make it so much easier, BFF.

Eunice… for your love for me, for standing in the gap and never giving up. For being so so amazing I am in awe. During nights of discouragement, I remember that “at least I have Eunice.” and I am grateful.

Jonathan Ng… for being the friend I know I can count on, listening to my blunt whining and complaining about things I know maybe only you would understand. Thanks for being around after so long.

Saran… for the cure to ALL my pre/post/permanent MS. You’re such a comfort and joy in my life. Every time I talk to you, I feel like the world is dainty and warm again.

Jon Lau… for your friendship and encouragements during the trying moments of my life!

Thank you N441 and W543 for being my joy and pride and my very dear sheep-s whom I love

I am happy. Truly and genuinely happy in my life and ministry.

Unrelated to this context but I cannot tell you how true it is that out of your heart springs the issues of life. Guard your heart. Guard your affections. A friend told me. “Sometimes we need to keep our heart closely to ourselves.”

Remind myself that I need to move forward and not look back. Choosing and keep the right friendships close to myself. Rebuilding my foundations to run again. “What can be shaken will be shaken!”

The happiest people do not have it all, they just make the best of what they got.

I CHOOSE LOVE!!!

Love all of you!!! wahahaha.